What is your perspective?

This is from an e-Newsletter published on 2/13/09

This past week was one of stark contrasts for me. Last Thursday a dear friend of mine lost his long battle with cancer, succumbing to the effects of this ravaging disease. Then, on Sunday afternoon my oldest daughter gave birth to her first child – my first grandchild! I know it’s a cliché to speak of the circle of life in situations like this, but these two events – on opposite ends of the spectrum – gave me cause to stop and take inventory of my own life and my own perspectives.

I could tell you all the things about him that most people would ask about my friend – where he went to school, what he did for a living, where he grew up, and so on. But are those things the measure of a life well lived? Not from my perspective.

As I reflected on the life of my friend I remembered him to be kind, funny, warm and endearing, and a gifted conversationalist. He was the kind of man who made anyone with him feel as though they were special and that what they had to say was important. Now I will also say that he had a biting and sarcastic sense of humor, but that was reserved for those whom he knew could “take it” and would not be offended; as it certainly was never his intention to offend. I can remember many times walking past his office and just popping my head in to say hello, and then 30 minutes later wondering where the time had gone! That was his gift, and he relished sharing it.

Some see death as an end. It is a time of sorrow and loss. It is a time to weep and to mourn the life that has left us. We are diminished by this person’s absence, and our lives will never be the same. Others see death as a beginning. They are in a better place, where there is no suffering, no pain, and no sorrow. We are more because this person was a part of our lives. It all depends on your perspective.

I wondered to myself how I would be remembered by those whose lives I have touched. I think it only natural to reflect on our own life as we remember those who have gone before us. Did I reach out to others in their time of need? Was I a good husband and father? What about a good friend? Did I show kindness and compassion to children – especially my own? Was I the man my mother hoped I would grow to be? Will it even matter that I was ever here on this earth?

Later that weekend, as I held my precious grandson in my arms for the first time, I again was flooded with thoughts about my life. What kind of grandfather will I be? Will he look up to me? How can I share all that I’ve learned with him as he grows from baby to boy to a man? Will I even see all of that? Nothing is certain.

Then it occurred to me. Nothing matters more than this moment. As I held this perfect little life in my arms, searching his tiny face, admiring every minute detail, I felt the incredible love welling up inside of me, and I knew that nothing could make that moment any better. His life will unfold as it is meant to, and my thinking ahead and wishing will not change any of that. I will certainly play a role in his life, but what that role is will be determined in time.

What will you do today to make sure that you are living the life you were meant to live – the life you are capable of? How will you live so that you honor the person that you are? Your life is filled with endless choices and possibilities; from what to eat for breakfast to what movie to see this weekend to whether or not to refinance your home mortgage. Life is a series of endless choices, and all of them are yours to make.

What will you do with those choices as you seek to live a life that matters? The choice is yours. If it’s true that nothing in life is guaranteed, then we owe it to ourselves to make every moment count. We all have our own definition of what it means to live a good life, a strong life, a life that matters. So, what’s your perspective?