How Beliefs Shape Your World
One of the most rewarding things I get to do as a life coach is to ask powerful questions that get people to look deep inside at many of their patterns, values, and beliefs. I will ask them to find the evidence in their lives to support some belief, especially when it’s one that does not serve them. If there is no evidence to support it, then the belief must change. It’s tremendously gratifying to see someone let go of a previously held self-limiting belief that has been preventing them from moving forward and living to their full potential.
However, sometimes someone comes along who will, through nothing more than their unbridled passion for life and unwavering faith in a world of possibilities, get us to shift our own beliefs about what’s possible merely from their own presence. They are an inspiration. For me, that someone happens to be my niece and Goddaughter, Danielle.
But soon after they took her home, they began to notice little things that just didn’t seem right. They noticed that she was having a hard time holding her head steady, and at four months they noticed that her eyes were severely crossed. They took her to the doctor, and were told that because of her crossed eyes, she was having difficulty with balance and fine motor skills. She would need surgery to repair her eyes.
A close friend of theirs, who also happens to be the wife of a doctor, told them the very first time that she held Danielle, “There’s something wrong with this baby.” They said they knew, and that once her eyes were fixed, everything would be fine. But she was not convinced. And her words would continue to drive them over the next several months to seek more medical advice.
The first time I met this wonder of life and love, she was still just a baby. I had flown to Connecticut to take part in her baptism, and was thrilled to meet this new addition to our family. I noticed immediately that, even at 6 months old, she could not hold her head up, and her eyes were still very crossed. Dan And Stephani would alternate patches over each eye, at the direction of the doctors, in order to strengthen them independently of each other. When holding her, great care had to be taken to support her head and neck, as she was very much like a little ragdoll in my arms, and I didn’t want her to injure her neck from the drastic movements of her head as she struggled to hold it up.
She was, however, one of the happiest babies I can remember seeing. Even then she had a spark. It was obvious that she loved to be held and talked to. She was a real sweetheart, and holding her in your arms, it was impossible to not fall immediately in love with her.
Over the course of the next several months, they took her from doctor to doctor, desperate to find out exactly what the root cause of the problem was. She had her eyes surgically repaired, yet she was still unable to control her movements and missed milestone after milestone in her development.
Finally, after much searching, they ended up at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD, where they were able to diagnose the issue. The diagnosis was Ataxia, a debilitating affliction marked by gross lack of coordination of muscle movements. It was due to a “severely underdeveloped” cerebellum according to the doctors. The news hit them like a heavyweight body blow. They were told that Danielle would never walk, never talk, and never be capable of living an independent life. But, if you know my sister-in-law, you would know that she would never accept that description of her baby girl’s fate.
Over the next few years as Danielle grew, she was loved, nurtured, and supported through incalculable physical and emotional challenges and at times seemingly torturous physical therapy to strengthen her muscles and improve coordination as much as possible. She learned sign language since speech is controlled by fine motor skills, and hers were severely impaired by the ataxia. And through all this, Danielle displayed the type of courage and determination that seems typically reserved for those brave few who face their challenges undaunted, certain that regardless of the obstacles that they would indeed triumph over their circumstances.
She refused to give in, and she eventually learned to speak – albeit in a manner that requires the listener to focus closely on her words as she painstakingly pushes through the challenge to communicate. Sometimes, when necessary her mom or dad or sister will act as translator. It’s a small price to pay for the joy of hearing her speak. If they are not around, then Danielle will write it down so the listener can understand fully.
When she was eight years old, she asked her mother if she would ever walk. Stephani agonized over what her answer would be. “What could I tell this amazing and beautiful little girl?” So, she did the only thing her heart would allow her to do. She looked her in the eyes and said with all the courage and conviction she could muster, “Of course you’ll walk.”
Danielle asked, “How do you know?”
To which Stephani replied, “Because I’m your mama, and I know!”
Danielle was determined to walk, and in 2001 she was blessed by receiving a “balance dog” named, appropriately enough, Walker. Walker was like a gift from God. She gave Danielle the ability to walk on her own, without crutches or braces, by using special harness and leaning on her for much-needed balance. Over the next 8 years, the two would become inseparable. Wherever you saw Danielle, there was her trusted best friend, Walker. Eventually over time, Danielle’s legs strengthened, and her coordination showed improvement. At her Eighth Grade Graduation ceremony, Danielle would defy the odds and walk unassisted across the stage to receive her diploma. The roars of the crowd were deafening, and none were more raucous than those of her loving family.
She continues to defy the odds, and at 15 years old she now attends high school – with eight buildings and 3,000 students – something that seemed impossible just a few short years ago. She is also a Special Olympian, and competes in bowling, cycling, sailing, and skiing; and she is a Global Messenger for Special Olympics, representing the organization at events from golf tournaments to fundraisers. She has even given speeches in front of crowds of as many as 300 people! She acknowledges that her biggest hurdle is overcoming her own challenges and fears.
And yet, that is exactly what she continues to do every day of her life. This past August, she endured what seems to be her most difficult challenge to date. Her beloved Walker, her constant companion of eight years, had to be put down. She had reached that part of her life where she was no longer able to live pain-free, and her own physical challenges now trumped those of her adoring Danielle.
She endures daily trials without her Walker, and she struggles to maintain her daily schedule. She says she falls a lot, and the amount of energy she must exert just to get from one class to the next is incalculable. It leaves her exhausted and at times hinders her ability to focus in class and learn all that she wants to learn.
And still, she will not give up! She pushes through every challenge – and they are many – with the courage and determination of a warrior, unwavering in her commitment to get through it. She believes in herself, and her ability to overcome her obstacles. And those beliefs – at first supported by nothing more than her faith – now have a lifetime of supporting evidence. Her belief in her ability to triumph over her circumstances is well documented. Her spirit is indomitable.
We often use the word “hero” a little too loosely at times. We use it for real-life heroes like Sully Sullenberger, who saved a plane full of people from certain death. We use it to describe the men and women of our military who face death every day in their fight to defend our country. And here, in Preston, CT, we use it to describe the courage of a little girl that most people will never have the joy of meeting. Danielle Ciccotti is a hero. Hell, she is MY hero! And we all have a lot to learn from the way this incredible girl uses her beliefs to shape her world.
What do YOU believe?
Are you looking to challenge some long-held beliefs in your life? Maybe you’d like to make some changes or find out what’s next for you. If so, then give me a call today at 775-750-4008. Let’s talk about all the exciting ways that coaching can help you to create an extraordinary life. Not sure? I offer free half-hour sample sessions, so give it a try. What have you got to lose? Who knows? You just may end up with a whole new set of beliefs about who you are and what you are capable of.
