Release the Past
As of this writing, my oldest daughter Sarah’s wedding is mere days away. Recently, I have found myself reflecting on her life, all the things I love about her, all the ways she has made me proud, and the amazing future she and her new husband have ahead of them. It’s such an exciting time for them!
However, there have also been some forays into the world of all the mistakes I’ve made with her over the years. I think it’s only natural as parents for us to relive past regrets and errors in judgment. There are always those opportunities to reflect on how we could have done things so much better. The “if only I had…” that can haunt us if we allow it to.
But what good does that behavior, that line of thinking do? It’s an exercise in futility to try and wish away the past, to make up for all our past injuries and insults, to seek a cosmic do-over, and change the course of our lives and those we’ve hurt. The truth is, the most effective way to view any past mistake is to learn from it, grow, and seek to become better for the lessons.
But what is it about us that causes us to hold on so tightly to the past? Why do we think that it’s going to change anything? The only benefit (if you can call it that) to this line of thinking is to make us feel bad, and hold us back. It gives away our power and energy to the things that we’re not releasing. It becomes a trap, a prison for our emotions that we actually hold the key to – if we only choose to use it and free ourselves.
I’m not saying it’s easy. But it certainly is achievable. Think about how holding on to these things is stealing a piece of your life. What would it mean to you to be able to look at these past events with an objective eye, learn from them, and then release them? How would your life improve? How would it feel to finally be able to say, “I forgive myself for past mistakes” and move on?
Today, as I reflect on Sarah’s life, I am choosing to look back in gratitude for the lessons I have learned as a parent. I get to use those to become a better father to all three of my children. It’s a much more spacious, loving, and growth-oriented approach to my life. And more importantly, it allows me to release those past actions, and let go of beliefs and patterns that do not serve me.
What regrets are you holding on to so tightly that they’re preventing you from being the person you want to be – your most authentic self? When you can become aware of those self-limiting thoughts, those unresourceful patterns, you can then create new patterns that will allow you to release them and replace them with more inspired habits.
