You Always Have a Choice

Ever have one of those days when it just feels as though the Universe is conspiring against you? You know the ones. When you go to the cupboard to get the cereal and the box is empty. Or you get a flat tire on the way to the big meeting. Or the dog grabs the steak off the counter when you’re not looking. Whatever the case, sometimes it simply feels like the whole world is out to get you. As I have been known to say to friends jokingly, “Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you!”

Well folks, today I had one of those days. Let me fill you in. As I was getting the cold cuts and condiments out of the fridge to make my kids’ lunches, I bumped a tray of fresh blueberries, which tumbled onto the floor and scattered around the kitchen – rolling around like so many little blue escapees from their plastic prison, and into every nook and cranny they could find. As I took a small step back to assess the spill, I stepped onto about four or five of them, crushing them into the floor. Nice. “Cleanup on aisle 7!”

Then later, as I was making my breakfast, I had decided that I felt like having an omelet. (One of the perks of working from home is that I now eat better!) As I was cooking the eggs, I lifted the frying pan; and as I had done so many times before, with a delicate, nimble flip of the wrist, attempted to flip the omelet over. I say attempted as though it were more than a feeble effort at this culinary art form, and knowing full well that in the middle of this stab at gastronomic greatness, I had ever so slightly hesitated. I was doomed. The omelet flopped mercilessly in the air, landing on the edge of the frying pan rather than in the middle as I had grown accustomed to. Half of my breakfast falling helplessly to the kitchen floor in an unceremonious “splat!” Great!

So here I am, standing in the middle of the kitchen holding this now twisted, deformed excuse for an omelet – egg still dripping from the edge of the pan. And in that very moment, I knew. I had a choice. Based on these two seemingly sinister incidents, I could blow my top and begin the parade of profanity that I have (sorry to say) conceded to so many times before. Besides, it was just me and the dogs hanging around. The kids had left for school. No one else would ever know, or hear, or care. OR… I could…

It began as a small chuckle, then cascaded into a series of belly laughs the likes of which I haven’t felt in what seemed like months, or even years. I stood there with frying pan in hand, egg on floor and slippers, and laughed at the cosmic joke that was being played on me at that very moment! Listen, I’m no saint. But when something’s funny, it’s just funny. And this was one of those rare moments when I got to see just how silly life is, and how unpredictable it can be, and how we always have a choice of how we react to it!

I have no proof for you that any of this occurred, and if you ask my wife and kids, they may even find my reaction hard to believe based on my past performance. (Like I said, I’m no saint.) What I can tell you unequivocally is this – it happened just as I have written here. I don’t know if, given the same set of circumstances, I would react the same way were it to happen again. I guess only time will tell.

But what I can tell you is this – each and every day of our lives, we are presented with circumstances that would seem to be beyond our control, sometimes menacing, many times there to teach us something; and the events themselves are neutral. That’s right. Neutral. What makes them good, bad, or otherwise, is how we choose to interpret and respond to them. When we go on auto, and allow the circumstances to dictate our thoughts, feelings, and actions, we literally give away our power. Our power to choose. Our power to decide. Our power to control our own behaviors.

So the next time you find the cereal box empty, or you get that flat tire, or you flip half an omelet onto the floor, ask yourself this one question, “What does this really mean?” If you can remain objective, and be aware of your thoughts and feelings, put your automatic response mechanisms on hold, you may just be surprised to find yourself laughing. Laughing at the circumstances, at the silliness and unpredictability of life, and maybe even laughing at yourself. Hey, it could happen.