People have a tendency to throw around words like famous, superstar, celebrity, and legend without much thought to the person behind them. Sadly, it seems that all too often, as someone’s celebrity grows, more and more people seek to find and expose their flaws. Some can stand up to the glare of the spotlight, while others wilt under the intense scrutiny. Still others seem to come through completely unscathed – they are exactly as they seem to be.
Such a man was John Wooden.
The world lost a giant with his passing. This was a man who not only seemed too good to be true – he really was. Now don’t get me wrong. Like all human beings, he certainly had his flaws. It’s just that he didn’t have them splashed all over the newspapers, TV or Internet. He remained true to his values and humble to the end.
Now most, if not all of you, know who John Wooden was. He was most well known as the coach who led the UCLA Men’s Basketball team to a mind-boggling total of ten NCAA National Basketball Championships, with a record 88 consecutive victories and seven NCAA Championships in a row at one point! He was a basketball legend in the truest sense of the word.
I’m not here to write about that part of his life. No, the John Wooden I wish to briefly highlight today was a man who was dedicated to the notion that life is much more than what we do, how many games we win, or how much money we make. The John Wooden I wish to honor is the man who taught so many about the values of honesty, teamwork, perseverance, humility, faith, and love. As I say many times to clients I work with, “Don’t be so concerned with what you do. Focus on who you are becoming in the process.”
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
Wooden had an innate sense of how to reach and motivate his players. He developed what he called “The Pyramid of Success” which encompassed the qualities that he felt were essential to be successful in any aspect of life. When he coached his teams – as hard as it may be to believe – he says he never stressed winning. He focused on them giving their best effort. He was heard to tell his players that the scoreboard might show they had the higher score at the end of the game, but if they didn’t give their best effort, they were losers.
You see, we thought John Wooden was a basketball coach. But we were wrong. He was so much more than that. He was a Life Coach. The wisdom of his words and the depth of his lessons were universal in their application.
“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”
Wooden was most concerned with teaching young men how to be men of character and integrity. He built his career on the notion that who they were as people was more important than who they were as basketball players. "What you are as a person is far more important that what you are as a basketball player.” As I listened to the seemingly endless string of interviews with former players, I was struck by the respect and reverence with which they spoke of him, and his impact on their lives. Truly, John Wooden was a man who made a difference. He set the standard not only for the coaching profession, but also for how we can live our lives.
There are so many profound truths to the wisdom of Coach Wooden. He made others wish to be better people by his mere presence.
“The most important word in our language is love. The second is balance; keeping things in perspective.”
The thing I most admired about John Wooden was something I didn’t know about until after his passing. It was his undying love and devotion to his wife of 53 years, Nellie. She died of cancer on March 21, 1985. Wooden never lost his devotion to her, and from that time on, every month on the 21st, he wrote her a love letter. Every month of every year from her death in 1985 until his own passing two weeks ago. No one was ever allowed to read them, not even family. He placed each letter in an envelope and added it to the stack of letters on the pillow she used to sleep on.
Nellie was the first – and only – girl he ever kissed. When asked how he was able to make love last in a marriage, he said, “There’s only one way. Truly, truly, truly love. Most powerful thing there is.”
Now, I don’t know about you, but that pretty much tells me all I would ever need to know about Wooden and his character. Many of us have a difficult enough time letting those we love know while they’re around. This man was so deeply in love, so devoted, that he never lost his desire to let his wife know. He never took that love for granted. And now, he and Nellie are finally reunited in eternity – at least, that’s my take on it.
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